Assistance Beyond Touch: Part 2
Previously, we discussed whether a husband can help his sick wife in the state of Niddah if no one is available and she greatly needs assistance. However, what did the Rema mean by “no one is available” and “greatly needs it”?
Obviously, this topic is discussed extensively amongst poskim; however, we will provide a few cases and examples to clarify what Rema means.
The Radvaz emphasizes that a husband must make every effort to hire an attendant for his wife, even at a significant financial cost. This stands in contrast to the case of a sick husband, where the wife is not required to hire an attendant due to the assumption that his weakened state reduces his Yetzer Hara. Rav Shmuel Wosner zt”l takes this further, arguing that one must avoid transgressing prohibitions even if it requires selling all one’s assets—here, meaning hiring someone to assist the sick wife.
R’ Avraham Naftali Vig Shlita” in his Sefer “Shiurei Tohar,” gives a glimpse into what “no one available” means. If a wife falls and a man is the only other person available, a husband is permitted to attend to his wife's needs in that scenario. Additionally, even if a female acquaintance is available, a husband can still help his wife to keep the forbidden status private. However, R’ Vig suggests that the husband should put a garment between them in order to reduce the level of the d’Rabbanan. Other poskim extend this to a scenario where a husband must palpate his wife’s pulse.
A wife attending to her sick husband is allowed to help him even where there is no Sakana, although he does have to have an actual illness. For example, if the husband is just feeling pain, his wife would not be able to help him. Also, she is forbidden from washing his face or feet and making his bed in his presence. Although she is permitted to serve him food and drink but not wine. (Beis Yosef & Chochmas Adam (116:11), Aruch HaShulchan ibid 24 & 27, Mekor Chaim ibid. 58.)
Adapted from medicalhalacha.org