Assistance Beyond Touch
There is a machlokes between the Mechaber and the Rema, which is seemingly complex, and many Poskim dissect at length. The machlokes has many implications regarding a medical emergency with a spouse. Suppose a married woman is in the state of niddah. In that case, the Mechaber and the Rema agree that she may care for her ill husband, assuming that there are no other options and no one else can care for him, although there are specific actions she is restricted from performing. Their argument surrounds whether a husband may care for his ill wife, assuming there are no other options. The Shulchan Aruch rules that one may not, while the Rema rules that he may if there is a “great need for it.” (Y.D. 195:15 & 16)
Simply, the machlokes seem to stem from the level of concern that physical touch may lead to intimacy. When both spouses are healthy, there is obvious concern. However, when the husband is sick, his yetzer hara isn't as strong, so there is less concern. But when the wife is ill, the Shulchan Aruch views the husband tending to his wife’s needs, potentially leading to intimacy, while the Rema would view the wife’s illness as a mitigating factor.
Poskim clarify the machlokes as to whether physical touch of the Arayos (such as hugging and kissing and the like) is an Issur d’Oraisa of “Lo Sikrevu l’Galos Erva” (Rambam, Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 21:1 and Sefer haMitzvos La’avin 353) or d’Rabbanan (Ramban, Hasagos to Sefer haMitzvos). Therefore, the Shulchan Aruch contends that it is forbidden for the man to help his wife, as it would be considered part of the three cardinal sins (as seen in Pesachim 25a). The Rema is lenient because the wife is considered a Choleh Sh’Ein Bo Sakana; therefore, the Issur d’Rabbanan is waved off. (Shulchan Aruch, O.C. 328)
However, one may ask about this approach with the following: The Rema and Shulchan Aruch agree that a wife can help her ill husband. Shouldn’t this be a part of the machlokes as well, as why would there be a distinction between a man and a woman?
Therefore the Gra explains that the Rema permits a husband specifically if the touch is not b’derech chiba (in the way of affection). If the husband’s touch is for purely technical reasons, it would then be considered an Issur d’Rabbanan, which is waved off for a sick person. Secondly, the Gra clarifies the Rema’s position that a man can only touch his wife if there is a great need for it, such as Pikuach Nefesh. This is supported by the fact that the Rema later qualifies his position by describing the case specifically during a Sakana.
In general, not everyone follows the Rema’s position, and these questions themselves are complex in nature; therefore, one should seek guidance from their Rabbinic authority. Additionally, it should be clarified that the parameters of “no other options” are complex and are its own discussion.
Adapted from medicalhalcha.org