Shoftim: Wholeness Over Perfection: Embracing Life's Ups and Downs
Liluei Nishmas Ita bas Chanoch Aharon Bistritzky
In this week’s Parsha, Shoftim, the Torah commands, “Tamim tihiyeh im Hashem Elokecha”—“You shall be wholehearted with Hashem, your G-d.” Rabbi Zevin, the compiler of the Encyclopedia Talmudit, offers a profound insight into this verse. He notes that the Torah does not instruct us to be perfect with Hashem, but rather to be wholesome. What is the difference between perfection and wholesomeness?
Perfection implies something flawless, without any problems or deficiencies, always functioning at full capacity. On the other hand, Wholesomeness acknowledges the presence of good days and bad days, yet pushes through both the thick and thin. Take marriage as an example. A superficially perfect marriage might seem ideal—where the husband and wife are always in perfect moods, always in tune with each other's needs—but this is only skin deep. A marriage like this lacks depth and authenticity because the couple has not truly met and accepted each other’s strengths and weaknesses. If a marriage only lasts because everything is perfect, it means it’s not yet wholesome. Such a relationship will only endure as long as everything is optimal.
A wholesome marriage, however, weathers the ups and downs. There is a harmony that runs through both the highs and the lows, and a strong bond persists even during difficult times. This idea extends beyond marriage and runs through the fabric of the universe.
Consider the weather. Very few places on Earth have perfect weather year-round. A functional world requires wholesome weather, not perfect weather. It needs the variety of the four seasons, which may sometimes be uncomfortable but contribute to a wholesome year. Reality isn’t always perfect, but it is rich and full.
So, too, in our Judaism. We are not called upon to be perfect Jews; Hashem asks us to be wholesome Jews. We are not expected to always be inspired and on a spiritual high. Judaism encompasses both Shabbos and the weekday. Shabbos is a time for higher spiritual elevation and inspiration, but the weekdays demand that we engage with our physical needs. Hashem designed the world in such a way that we experience both days filled with inspiration and days that feel mundane. The key is that our ups and downs should not constitute two separate lives. If we imagine that Hashem desires perfection, then we might practice Judaism only when we are inspired, but neglect it when we are not. True wholesomeness in our connection with Hashem means that we remain committed both when we are inspired and when we are not.
The Chassid Reb Yekusiel Lepler exemplified this concept. He experienced times of great spiritual elevation and times of deep spiritual struggle. When he was inspired, he would pray all three daily prayers one after the other without interruption, devoting an entire day to his fervent concentration. Yet, when he was low, he still prayed every single word with the basic "pirush hamilot"—the meaning of the words. He did not demand perfection of himself, but wholesomeness.
We need to apply this lesson in everything we set out to achieve in our own lives. Instead of striving for unattainable perfection, we should aim to be wholesome. Yes, we should strive to do our best, but we must also realize that Hashem doesn’t demand perfection from us, but rather that we remain connected, even when we’re down. In doing so, we can find strength in knowing that every moment, whether high or low, is part of our journey toward a deeper and more meaningful relationship with Hashem.
Adapted from Life Talks on the Parsha